Tag Archives: tears

a pineapple, tears, laughter and a mongoose…

Lately I am tired. It may be the click-tut of the geckos, the whinge-whine of mosquitos that bug and bite, or the brawling call of the morning mosque scaring me out of sleep, but I am finding little rest. I walk … Continue reading

Posted in feelings, grief, loss | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

grace in grief…

Loss is the cloud that carries the sun. It is a frame, a flight of darkness that is meant to rise and lift, even when its weight seems to bully back the spring of earth. Lately I cry a lot. … Continue reading

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goggles in the rain…

Heya Bab, Yesterday it was 5 months since you died. 5 months ago I woke up from another uneasy sleep, went to check on you, was relieved to find you were alive and then realised that a crucial part of … Continue reading

Posted in feelings, grief, missing dad | Tagged , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

choosing this…

Heya Bab, I’m in Amsterdam now on my way to another somewhere else that would have scored me points on our country competition list. I am officially kicking your ass. I sometimes think my life is lived in transit, that … Continue reading

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red dirt and a bumpy road…

Rain drops drum beat their pitter patter on the office’s corrogated iron roof. Dark clouds gloom grumpily overhead, airing their grievances against the stark stretch of steel-grey sky. The hills resonate and rumble with the booms of another a rain … Continue reading

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scattered showers…

Most days are sunny but there are odd moments when grief is a brick to the head, an unexpected blow, a crushing weight. There are moments when I wonder whether my sense of loss is greater than my sense of … Continue reading

Posted in death, grief | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

4am….

The runners were there again in the night pounding a path through my sleep and yanking me back into the hot dark room, the net. I stared up the ceiling criss-crossed with bars of black and waited to sink back … Continue reading

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hope floats..

Yesterday I kept on going, kept putting one foot in front of the other, finding one word and then another. Sometimes that is all you can do and it is just about enough. The comments you left on my rather … Continue reading

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temper and tears….

This morning for the first time in months I took the bold step of putting on eye make up. Fortune favours the brave and all that. It seems like the on off on off job might actually be on again … Continue reading

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are you okay?

I knew I was going to be down on points from the moment I opened my eyes and it has not been an easy day. It’s been that kind of dreadful that is all consuming; I’m not quite sure of … Continue reading

Posted in grief, reflections | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments