Tag Archives: grief

into the darkness..

A family friend’s grown up son came home to visit. He called and arranged to meet his mum for tea after work and then jumped off a bridge into motorway traffic. No one quite knew why and the road left … Continue reading

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its alright…

Heya Bab, I know it has been a while since I’ve written, but you are often in my thoughts. You stop by with the mail in my inbox that spam-says its from you, in the silly line from a movie … Continue reading

Posted in death, grief, life | Tagged , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

love endures…

Heya Bab, I’ve haven’t done this, haven’t written one to you for a while, but tonight was one of those nights when I was left wide awake with words for you buzzing round in my head. I wish you were … Continue reading

Posted in grief, love | Tagged , , , , , | 13 Comments

the neon-pink Christmas tree…

I was met at the airport by a delighted dog in fairy wings – why wings? I don’t really know. My brother and the pup picked me up, drove me dozing home, and ushered me in to see a neon-pink … Continue reading

Posted in feelings, grief, thanks | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

a pineapple, tears, laughter and a mongoose…

Lately I am tired. It may be the click-tut of the geckos, the whinge-whine of mosquitos that bug and bite, or the brawling call of the morning mosque scaring me out of sleep, but I am finding little rest. I walk … Continue reading

Posted in feelings, grief, loss | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

how can I help?

We are moths, dancing the breeze ever closer to the flame-flicker that brightens as it burns. There are paths we never want to walk that have to be trodden. Places we don’t want to visit that tug us irrevocably on. … Continue reading

Posted in death, grief | Tagged , , , , , , | 6 Comments

my cup overflows…

I’ve spent today sitting in the toilet throwing up in a bucket – food poisoning again. I ache all over, I feel terrible and I’m desperately thirsty because every time I drink, I’m sick again. It has been a day for … Continue reading

Posted in reflections, thanks | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to…

Heya Bab, Christmas is coming and I am wondering whether I will make it home in time to catch it. Without you I don’t know quite what it will be, who we will be. Part of me is tempted to … Continue reading

Posted in grief | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

when someone is dying…

Watching someone die is never going to be easy. Something is breaking. A world is ending. It is not going to be okay. The light is greying out. It is not far short of 6 months since my dad died … Continue reading

Posted in death, grief, reflections | Tagged , , , , , , , | 27 Comments

quiet desperation is the English way…

After a few days where grief was as pressing and present as the ground beneath my feet, I’ve been trying hard to put it back in its place, to shift the tilt of my landscape and let in a little more sky. … Continue reading

Posted in feelings | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments