Tag Archives: feelings

my journeying heart..

I have been moving thousands of miles and I have been silent. Perhaps you wondered where I was. As the miles were chewed up and spat out under bumping bus wheels, as the borders rolled by, my words were somehow … Continue reading

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I don’t know…

Me and two girls from the dorm room spilled out into Antigua’s night. Bonds mesh fast when you travel. One girl had thrown up on the others jacket on a half way jog to the restaurant toilet. I’d held her … Continue reading

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cracked earth and moonshine…

Last night as I lay awake thinking a bit too much, some words written nearly a decade ago came back to speak to me: I will not write, or weep, or live a cliché. Mine is the portrait of the … Continue reading

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the hole in my net…

Lately I am star-crossed with constellations of bites, little galaxies blazing on my skin. I ponder them, try to divine the beast that bit by the breadth of swell and ache of itch. But all too often they remain mysteries, … Continue reading

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how can I help?

We are moths, dancing the breeze ever closer to the flame-flicker that brightens as it burns. There are paths we never want to walk that have to be trodden. Places we don’t want to visit that tug us irrevocably on. … Continue reading

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quiet desperation is the English way…

After a few days where grief was as pressing and present as the ground beneath my feet, I’ve been trying hard to put it back in its place, to shift the tilt of my landscape and let in a little more sky. … Continue reading

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goggles in the rain…

Heya Bab, Yesterday it was 5 months since you died. 5 months ago I woke up from another uneasy sleep, went to check on you, was relieved to find you were alive and then realised that a crucial part of … Continue reading

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it is not enough, but enough…

Heya bab, Lately I just want to call you. It is too long since we have spoken, too long since I have heard your voice. I often think of dialling your number just to hear your phone ring, but I … Continue reading

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red dirt and a bumpy road…

Rain drops drum beat their pitter patter on the office’s corrogated iron roof. Dark clouds gloom grumpily overhead, airing their grievances against the stark stretch of steel-grey sky. The hills resonate and rumble with the booms of another a rain … Continue reading

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scattered showers…

Most days are sunny but there are odd moments when grief is a brick to the head, an unexpected blow, a crushing weight. There are moments when I wonder whether my sense of loss is greater than my sense of … Continue reading

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