Category Archives: loss

depths called high

There is tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow, Each rolls on, dark, unrepentant. Dry days heap one on one in dusting heaps since you plunged forth, Quiet in your falling, Silent off slipping, But inwardly, awkwardly utterly missed. You were not … Continue reading

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what I called to say..

Heya bab, Tonight I headed out of the house in a flurry of coats, hats and scarves as mid March snow drifted down chilly beautiful and utterly indifferent. I was just popping off round to a friend’s for a cuppa, … Continue reading

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the package…

My parcel came back. Six months and 12,000 miles in the journeying. The woman named-tagged back behind the counter smiled gently, Suggested I check the address, Repack. Resend. I nodded back pale polite, Knew the direction three times checked. It … Continue reading

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digging up the dead…

I’m sorry. The dead do not speak for us to hear them. All unanswered questions must be jam-jarred for a rainy day, The arguments sit pickled, part done when the chills come on. The love yous linger but they are … Continue reading

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sunrise, sunset…

And sunrise and sunsest roll on and roll over. The sky greys up and blacks out, To the rise and fall of humming traffic, The office buzz, The thickening clump of nights, The scrape of ice dawning on windscreens. I clock … Continue reading

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coming home…

Hiya Bab, It’s been a long time eh? Days, weeks, months have folded back and peeled away since you went away. Seasons bloomed, blossomed then dried on the branch and fallen off forgotten. It has now been fifteen months since … Continue reading

Posted in grief, life, loss, love, missing dad, reflections | Tagged | 12 Comments

the darkness in the heart…

There is a darkness in the heart of all good things, The black spot that grows great if you stare too long into the sun. In love there is brokenness like no other joy. In each birthing of hope there … Continue reading

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have ticket will travel…

Heya Bab, Tonight I miss you, but I’ve been doing my crying in the shower to avoid spoiling more fruit! I’ve managed to get my contract wound up and my flights booked so I will make it home for Christmas … Continue reading

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a pineapple, tears, laughter and a mongoose…

Lately I am tired. It may be the click-tut of the geckos, the whinge-whine of mosquitos that bug and bite, or the brawling call of the morning mosque scaring me out of sleep, but I am finding little rest. I walk … Continue reading

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that other undiscovered country…

In the last months it has been easy to see grief as the wellspring of every new thought and feeling. I have thought of it as a temporary madness, something to endure. The inevitable slip-slide of ups and downs has … Continue reading

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