Hmm I guess this is the grief-blog version of a personals ad… a little awkward!
Thirty something woman with GSOH, loves travel, good food, laughter, seeks adventure and tall dark handsome stranger.… and then, before the ink had dried, life got put on hold so I could spend time with my dying dad.
I’m working out how to unpause again now he’s gone. A lot of things dropped away in that pause… It was a privilege to get a little more of those last previous months with him, so I don’t regret the things I left behind, but there is a heck of a gap now.
Dad and I had a lot of time to talk, a lot of time to say goodbyes, (though of course there is never quite enough time). I sometimes laugh when I think of the many many times I said goodbye but still never quite felt I’d entirely said my bit. What can I say? I am naturally a little chopsy, a little prone to navel gazing.
My dad was a big man in many ways. A rebel, a leader, a great father, friend, ally… well truth be told he was gently just about everything to me. He pushed me hard to think about what his death meant for my life and here I want to carry on that journey of thought we started together… and hopefully somewhere along the way I will find my way back into the life he wanted for me and work out what I want for myself.