the fullness of longing…

Dawn broke and the day was in bloom, bright, beautiful. I woke up with a smile on my face, wriggling my toes and stretching lithe limbs out into warm air. The rising sun stroked back the dark with a lover’s touch.

It was a day off work so I wandered around markets content in my own company, laughing at myself for getting lost in the Aladdin’s cave of bangle-burrows that nestle behind the streets.

After a year of being mashed, mushed and bashed I am feeling pretty damn positive. I have realised that happiness is a choice, not a play of circumstance, a place or a person, and I am choosing it wholeheartedly, passionately, in every moment that I can.

I am utterly, stupidly, silly in love with life.

I see people look at me twice, three times because I am thrumming, humming with energy. Right now I seem to be glowing.

But there could be much more than this.

I am not satisfied. I ache with a longing that is deeper than words. And yet that is also beautiful. I am seeing more clearly,  unearthing what was hidden.

I don’t like to live a lack. My life is fast, free, full. I don’t tend to leave many spaces empty. I don’t often wait.

But in making the best, I have failed to ask whether good, is really good enough. I have filled life with what is here, now, where ever that has been, rather than leaving myself room to long for love, to long for extraordinary. . I’ve let myself forget how much I want what I want the most.

So it is time for a change, for saying no to less than incredible. It is time to be hungry, to wonder, to wish, to wait… keep your fingers crossed for me.

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7 Responses to the fullness of longing…

  1. Julie says:

    You write beautifully and, yes, my fingers are crossed for you.

  2. Talk to me...I'm your Mother says:

    You capture the essence of longing in this.

  3. “The rising sun stroked back the dark with a lover’s touch.”. I loved that line. I really hope you find extraordinary. You clearly deserve to. Some of it is in you now as this writing shows

  4. “It’s time to hungry,…” reminds me of the Whole Earth Catalog statement, “Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.” Good advice from both of you. Thanks.

    • Thanks for reading and commenting – ah yes, Steve Jobs mentioned that quite in his speech at Stanford. That speech really wowed me so maybe the words sunk into my consciousness from there on in!

  5. I am so excited for you! Look at this post! Go, reach and do not settle for less! You are extraordinary and deserve nothing less! Oh blessing beyond belief my friend!

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