There are times when music rolls through me like a tide of emotion: when its currents pull my heart into the waters that I don’t have the strength to swim alone. It stings and soothes me with a drop, with a swelling sea.
Tonight I sat listening to a friend strum casually as a group of us digested greasy fish and chips. The moment was an aside to a takeaway. Yet it summoned a flood of rising beauties and griefs in me, without needing the words that I can never quite find, without the need for the definitions and categorisations that continue to evade me.
Everything was present in this little nothing. I could have wept into my chip papers.
His flying fingers conjured a drift to draw my buried tears into the rolling warmth of distant oceans. Something beyond thought echoed and spoke of things I know but could not grasp.
Those stumbled on melodies reminded me that all that is new and raw for me is eons old, that a hundred thousand other hearts have broken just like this. And that thought is as sweet and painful as the last golden moment of the sun’s sink.
Some words fell out odd, off key, muddying this music, but it didn’t really matter. No smudge or smear could make the moment any less radiant or diminish its fullness. Something at my core thrummed, resonated and was released.
Love weeps and life is abundant, rich and wild-beating in little moments like this..