the long road…

The road from here to there can feel like a breath or a thousand miles.

It seems like but a blink when we realize we’re already there. When we see that somehow we’re at that place we were heading for but we’d forgotten to look around, to read the signs and celebrate. Time spent in celebration is always well spent. The world would be a better place with more balloons and bunting!

When we strain, squint ahead and worry over working out where we want to be, the destination seems far off, distant, even unreachable. The road we have not yet travelled is always long and looks muddy.

Today I began to work out the steps, the stages, the changes. The trip I need to make to turn the spirit of a thought into a future. As I start to lay out the nuts and bolts, I’m feeling daunted. It looks like a big bag of bits of this and that and I want a manual. I haven’t even started and I’m wondering whether I can make this happen, whether it is worth all the effort to make this something new take shape.

I think I know what I want but I’m not quite sure I want it enough….

I have a necklace that says ‘choose’. It dangles around my neck and gives me a good laugh when people assume that it’s my name! But I wear it to remind myself that for all the things that I cannot change, there are plenty more that I can, that my choices, my will has the power to re-make my world around me. After all I am an artist, a co-creator. I have my own pot of beautiful.

The trick is in the choosing, in the wanting.

I tend want to run at the second step without giving myself time to work up to a jog. Life is short and I am better at push than pause. I try to remind myself that things take time, that even the universe took a little while to unravel. I’m trying to give my own creation a little time to brew and bubble, to let imagination do some of the work for me.

I have one more week in Uganda, a few weeks break and then another adventure lined up, so perhaps right now is a time to take a breath and be thankful, to stretch and smile a little. After all heartbeat can be time enough – once my heart is sold, the rest should flow and follow.

The impossible will be possible, the muddy roads more passable.

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