London bound…..

Tomorrow I am heading down to London for a few days.

I’ll be going to work to talk about whether any new contracts are coming up, meeting up with some friends, maybe wandering around a museum or two….trying to connect with the world I inhabited before all of this.

The very thought seems to have set a rabble of butterflies loose inside me. I am all aflutter with quiet anxiety.

Part of me is itching to be working again, to be doing, to be re-engaged. Another chunk wonders if I can get through a whole conversation without tearing up at an awkward moment.

Yesterday my sat nav betrayed me half way through an hour long drive. As a result, the remaining half hour took and hour an a half. I visited one set of traffic lights six times, even though they weren’t all that scenic. In fact, the sat nav’s lies about non existent roundabouts and turns, had me cursing the air blue, trembling like a leaf and quivering on the edge of tears.

I can only conclude grief has eroded my ability to cope until I have the stress resilience thresholds of a particularly timid household gnat. I used to be able to fight lions and tigers on my lunch break… what have I become?

Not quite sure how I am going to cope with the bustle of a big city. Oh well, once more into the breach…

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6 Responses to London bound…..

  1. Ah, returning to work is tough. I found it much more difficult than I had anticipated. Good luck! If you fancy lunch or a coffee while you’re in town let me know, but if you’d like to keep the virtual virtual, or if you have too many people to fit in already in a short visit, I COMPLETELY understand so no pressure 🙂

  2. I’m sending a prayer your way that all will go well and be full of peace.

  3. It is so hard, but the trick is to just be in the moment. Trust me when I say that if you cry that is okay. My first day back after my brothers funeral the Executive Director was very kind and stopped to offer is condolences. I burst in to tears in the middle and basically ran to the bathroom. For about 6 months after any time he saw me, he turned around and went in to his office closing and locking the door. I am surprised the man didn’t get kidney stones! It will be okay. Just remember you aren’t alone and it is just a moment. Massive hugs my friend.

  4. Kristie West says:

    I’m in London if you want a coffee anytime!

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